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de is linked to the parties’ feeling of proximity and connectedness and shame often results if parties’ feel that their relationship is threatened. Such feeling of disgrace or humiliation can lead to unacknowledged shame that if not managed by parties involved can result in a prolonged conflict. If this humiliation persists and remains unaddressed, hurt feelings and shame is likely to give rise to anger, hostility, and conflict intensification (Mayer, 2010). To this extent, the substantive causes of conflict may become less significant than the parties hurt and fury feelings.
Reading through chapter one of dynamics of conflict resolution by Mayer, one revelation that unravels are that emotions contribute the vigor, dynamism, courage, and determination that allow people to Participate forcefully in conflict. The understanding that, emotions are escalators of conflict has not only informed of how to deal with such feelings now but also in future conflict resolution. I have learnt that everybody’s emotional makeup is the desire to seek relationship, affirmation, and recognition. Therefore, indisputable expression of sadness or concern is vital in tackling conflict successfully. Sometimes, individuals may feel unsatisfied even when a sound agreement is reached. Therefore, a long healing process is typically essential in dealing with conflict (Mayer, 2010, p. 11). Another way of dealing with emotions in future conflicts is to focus conciliation efforts on the relationship among disputants and less on attaining specific agreement (Mayer, 2010, p. 12). Understanding conflicts is the most important vehicle for appreciating many disagreements that are necessarily present in our efforts to settle differences.
It is an uphill tussle for people to accept that conflict is inevitable and is not in most cases good or bad. Acknowledging conflicts in our lives can lead to many important lessons being learnt that can lead to growth of society and individuals. Being cognizant